There are two distinct memories I have of getting attention for humor when I was very young.
One was when I picked up the “Boy Scout Joke Book” at the library in Henning. I came home and tried out some of the jokes, and there was a joke about a Frenchman, a German, and Ole going to the guillotine that seemed to tickle people. I first told it to Mom and she had me tell it to Dad. Dad thought it was funny and he had me tell it to some other people. I put a little more drama into it each time I told the joke and thought hey, I can do this. I can make people laugh.
The other memory is of the family sitting down around the dinner table, and Mom brought the food to the table and her four hungry kids started grabbing for whatever they could get their hands on. Mom stood back and said “Gosh, you’d think you were all starving kids in Asia that you think you have to jump all over the food just to get some!” I paused for a moment and said “Well Mom, if they jump on their food, no wonder they’re starving.” Everybody thought that was pretty funny. I laughed too, but half expected to get in trouble for making a smart remark. No trouble came.
I was starting to learn that my dry humor could make people laugh, and that the time, place, and manner of the remark could determine whether it was received well or not. I’m so grateful that I didn’t get scolded for that. Whether it’s genetic or something I picked up from Mom & Dad along the way, I’m grateful that I came away with a good sense of humor—good enough to make a smart remark once in a while, and also good enough to laugh at myself when the tables are turned.
11/26/09
All the things I don't know about
I’ve always (well, since college anyway) known that there have been countless sacrifices and achievements that Mom and Dad gave to us that I’d never be aware of and never quite figure out. As I enter the world of parenting myself, I feel it even more. What tough decisions were they faced with that I’ll never know of? What long nights and exhausting days did they go through, but not describe to us? What pet peeves did we aggravate them with that they refrained from nagging us about?
I used to do an activity with the student leaders I worked with. I gave them a piece of paper with "Gratitude" written on one side, and asked them to write down all the things they did for other students and for other staff members that they felt were not recognized. Then I gave them a piece of construction paper and they glued that sheet to the construction paper, hiding what they had written, but leaving the word "Gratitude" framed for them to see. I told them that there are a lot of things worth doing that people may not thank us for--but they should value the ability to feel the gratitude even if others don't take time to express it.
I hope Mom & Dad feel that gratitude from us--even for those things we didn't know, don't realize, or forgot to mention.
I used to do an activity with the student leaders I worked with. I gave them a piece of paper with "Gratitude" written on one side, and asked them to write down all the things they did for other students and for other staff members that they felt were not recognized. Then I gave them a piece of construction paper and they glued that sheet to the construction paper, hiding what they had written, but leaving the word "Gratitude" framed for them to see. I told them that there are a lot of things worth doing that people may not thank us for--but they should value the ability to feel the gratitude even if others don't take time to express it.
I hope Mom & Dad feel that gratitude from us--even for those things we didn't know, don't realize, or forgot to mention.
Our garden
Our garden has always been a fond memory, but I have a renewed appreciation now that I’m gardening for my own family. I know the scale of our Henning garden is out-of-proportion because I was small when we lived there, but I just remember it as gigantic.
I remember in particular ‘helping’ Dad with the roto-tiller, catching lots of butterflies (and likely stomping a few good plants in the process), the taste of fresh green beans right off the vine, and those days when the whole house smelled as Mom & Dad canned tomatoes. We made so much out of those tomatoes—we had spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, and chili enough for the winter.
When I’m at the grocery store I peek into the carts of other parents as they check out. They’re full of microwavable mini-treats, TV dinners, and Chef Boy-R-Dee. I’m so thankful for all the great, fresh vegetables I was raised on. I can’t imagine how many additives and preservatives and trans-fats we missed because we were eating food from our own garden. Not long before we left Henning, I had a patch of acorn squash and… hmmm… sweet potatoes or potatoes too? I’m not sure if I did half the labor, but it was ‘mine’ and gave me the idea that gardening was within my reach.
Now, Diana and I have harvested two years of produce from our tiny garden. Even if it’s not a cost savings in the long run, we both love the physical activity, the purity of the food, and the miracle of growth. Nothing tastes better than food fresh from the garden. For both of us, gardening connects us with our families and our “roots”.
I remember in particular ‘helping’ Dad with the roto-tiller, catching lots of butterflies (and likely stomping a few good plants in the process), the taste of fresh green beans right off the vine, and those days when the whole house smelled as Mom & Dad canned tomatoes. We made so much out of those tomatoes—we had spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, and chili enough for the winter.
When I’m at the grocery store I peek into the carts of other parents as they check out. They’re full of microwavable mini-treats, TV dinners, and Chef Boy-R-Dee. I’m so thankful for all the great, fresh vegetables I was raised on. I can’t imagine how many additives and preservatives and trans-fats we missed because we were eating food from our own garden. Not long before we left Henning, I had a patch of acorn squash and… hmmm… sweet potatoes or potatoes too? I’m not sure if I did half the labor, but it was ‘mine’ and gave me the idea that gardening was within my reach.
Now, Diana and I have harvested two years of produce from our tiny garden. Even if it’s not a cost savings in the long run, we both love the physical activity, the purity of the food, and the miracle of growth. Nothing tastes better than food fresh from the garden. For both of us, gardening connects us with our families and our “roots”.
Christmas
There were many great reasons to love Christmas at our house. We often had two beautiful trees, one with the classic, traditional Chrismons Mom & Dad had made together, one that ‘belonged’ to the kids, with colored lights and colorful decorations. We had such a wonderful tradition.
After a few weeks practicing for the Christmas program, after struggling to memorize a few lines from the Christmas Story, the big night finally came around. We had our dinner and waited around for the program—both in a hurry to get to the presents but not in much of a hurry to sing or recite in front of the congregation. Even though the ‘performance’ aspect of it was not fun for a young person, the priorities were made clear to us: The holiday exists to celebrate Christ’s birth, and our opportunity to be a part of a church, and to live together in Christ.
After the service, I remember walking down the aisle between the pews, grabbing that bag of peanuts and an apple, and making a bee-line for the house. Perhaps I’d stop in the kitchen to dig into the tower of Tupperware bursting with holiday treats, but I wanted to see the presents. There would be a virtual explosion of gifts under the tree by that time. The gifts are really another “how did they do it” mystery to me. How gifts might have migrated from hiding places to the space around our Christmas tree is not that difficult to imagine. But to pay for such a cornucopia of presents and to get them purchased and wrapped and hidden boggles my mind. I can’t seem to keep little gifts hidden from one person that well, and I wince at the impact the holidays can take as we work to save for a house, cars, and other necessaries.
Like most kids, I didn’t spend much time wondering if the night was as special for my parents as it was for me—I suspect that it was special for them because it was special for us. I’m sure there were some challenging moments, as there have to be with four kids at such an exciting time. But I remember the joy, passing gifts to each other and watching for expressions, sitting and waiting for the right moment to click a picture, and wondering, by the end of the night, how I’d have time to play with all this stuff. Mom & Dad’s work, year after year, has made Christmas in my life into the warm, special time of year that it is meant to be.
After a few weeks practicing for the Christmas program, after struggling to memorize a few lines from the Christmas Story, the big night finally came around. We had our dinner and waited around for the program—both in a hurry to get to the presents but not in much of a hurry to sing or recite in front of the congregation. Even though the ‘performance’ aspect of it was not fun for a young person, the priorities were made clear to us: The holiday exists to celebrate Christ’s birth, and our opportunity to be a part of a church, and to live together in Christ.
After the service, I remember walking down the aisle between the pews, grabbing that bag of peanuts and an apple, and making a bee-line for the house. Perhaps I’d stop in the kitchen to dig into the tower of Tupperware bursting with holiday treats, but I wanted to see the presents. There would be a virtual explosion of gifts under the tree by that time. The gifts are really another “how did they do it” mystery to me. How gifts might have migrated from hiding places to the space around our Christmas tree is not that difficult to imagine. But to pay for such a cornucopia of presents and to get them purchased and wrapped and hidden boggles my mind. I can’t seem to keep little gifts hidden from one person that well, and I wince at the impact the holidays can take as we work to save for a house, cars, and other necessaries.
Like most kids, I didn’t spend much time wondering if the night was as special for my parents as it was for me—I suspect that it was special for them because it was special for us. I’m sure there were some challenging moments, as there have to be with four kids at such an exciting time. But I remember the joy, passing gifts to each other and watching for expressions, sitting and waiting for the right moment to click a picture, and wondering, by the end of the night, how I’d have time to play with all this stuff. Mom & Dad’s work, year after year, has made Christmas in my life into the warm, special time of year that it is meant to be.
My siblings
Okay, like a lot of siblings, we had our fights and misunderstandings and jealousies and competitions. When Mom and Dad got home from a day away, there was often some complaining about who did what or didn’t do what during the day. But it’s so easy to view our family as a whole, each sibling and their families, and be really proud and grateful for the people that we are. So whatever Mom and Dad did with us, as different as we all are, it worked pretty consistently and well.
I am proud of my sister Gretchen, her intellect and clear-minded view of the world, her and her husband’s worldview and appreciation of simple joys like cooking and home improvement and the outdoors. I’m proud of my brother Paul and his impressive work ethic, his natural gift for working with his hands, his triumph over the educational system to find what was right for him, his natural abilities as a father, his close and active family, his success as a chef. I’m proud of my sister Sarah, her determination and pragmatism and goal-orientation, her love of family and her passion to be a great mom and wife, her dedicated and resilient husband, her courage to make life changes. I’m proud of all their kids, who for all our trials, seem to be turning out pretty well too.
Like anyone else, I’m sure we found some things we thought we’d do differently as parents compared to Mom and Dad. But we learned the most important stuff about family when we lived in a house in Henning and a house in Alcester while we were growing up. Now I can use not only Mom and Dad as great examples, but also each of my siblings—I hope I can borrow some strengths and inspiration from each of them as I begin my journey as a parent.
I am proud of my sister Gretchen, her intellect and clear-minded view of the world, her and her husband’s worldview and appreciation of simple joys like cooking and home improvement and the outdoors. I’m proud of my brother Paul and his impressive work ethic, his natural gift for working with his hands, his triumph over the educational system to find what was right for him, his natural abilities as a father, his close and active family, his success as a chef. I’m proud of my sister Sarah, her determination and pragmatism and goal-orientation, her love of family and her passion to be a great mom and wife, her dedicated and resilient husband, her courage to make life changes. I’m proud of all their kids, who for all our trials, seem to be turning out pretty well too.
Like anyone else, I’m sure we found some things we thought we’d do differently as parents compared to Mom and Dad. But we learned the most important stuff about family when we lived in a house in Henning and a house in Alcester while we were growing up. Now I can use not only Mom and Dad as great examples, but also each of my siblings—I hope I can borrow some strengths and inspiration from each of them as I begin my journey as a parent.
Apple, Atari, Gateway
Sure, maybe we were riding on the coattails of Dad’s interest in computers. Nevertheless, with Mom & Dad’s help, I had access to computers when many friends of mine did not. It all started on a table in the basement in Henning with two file cabinets and a big homemade table-top for our Apple II-e. I remember that I worked on my big report on “Killer Whales” on our home computer, and thought it looked sooo sharp to print it out on our dot-matrix printer with the paper that fed through on tracks. I still have that report somewhere.
When I was in college and grad school and had my own computer, it allowed me to… well, to tinker. You don’t want to sit in a computer lab somewhere and just tinker around to make something just right. But with a computer sitting in my room, I improved my writing skills, my editing skills, and my design skills by tinkering around like it was a game. Plenty of my peers were still intimidated by computers and were slow to learn the features of Microsoft Word or other software. It became an advantage for me, and in each job I’ve had I’ve been known as someone who is a savvy user of the computer and can answer lots of questions, can communicate with techies, and can solve problems with software.
At home we have our family calendar and address book on Google. We keep our recipes, photos, and records on the computer, and of course use a blog to stay connected with family and friends. I can’t imagine what technological advances Lilly will have the opportunity to use during her life. I hope we can give her a head start like I got growing up with a computer in our house.
I had to throw Atari on the list as well—it’s not the same thing as having a computer, but at least I played some video games in my lifetime. How could I have an interest in a silly game like “Grand Theft Auto” when I know the joy of Asteroids, Space Invaders, Pitfall Jack, and Donkey Kong?
When I was in college and grad school and had my own computer, it allowed me to… well, to tinker. You don’t want to sit in a computer lab somewhere and just tinker around to make something just right. But with a computer sitting in my room, I improved my writing skills, my editing skills, and my design skills by tinkering around like it was a game. Plenty of my peers were still intimidated by computers and were slow to learn the features of Microsoft Word or other software. It became an advantage for me, and in each job I’ve had I’ve been known as someone who is a savvy user of the computer and can answer lots of questions, can communicate with techies, and can solve problems with software.
At home we have our family calendar and address book on Google. We keep our recipes, photos, and records on the computer, and of course use a blog to stay connected with family and friends. I can’t imagine what technological advances Lilly will have the opportunity to use during her life. I hope we can give her a head start like I got growing up with a computer in our house.
I had to throw Atari on the list as well—it’s not the same thing as having a computer, but at least I played some video games in my lifetime. How could I have an interest in a silly game like “Grand Theft Auto” when I know the joy of Asteroids, Space Invaders, Pitfall Jack, and Donkey Kong?
Clearance racks and the Goodwill store
This item on the list has seen a big change between what I thought growing up and what I think now. I know when I was young I didn’t like feeling ‘restricted’ to the clearance racks. I wanted Guess Jeans, the status symbol of the day. I wanted lots of things that were costly. Most of the time, all I really understood was that some other kids had it, so why couldn’t I?
When I started managing my own budget, the epiphany began. Now frugality is such an important part of my life and my identity: I try to be considerate of the things I want. It’s easy to want things, but my faith, my intellect, and my upbringing lead me to understand that we should not rely on material possessions for happiness.
I could just go on and on about the societal, environmental, spiritual, financial, and other reasons why it’s good to resist always wanting more. I think Mom & Dad did a great job of giving us what we needed, and more than what we needed. But, to be frank, we were not spoiled, and thank God for that.
When I started managing my own budget, the epiphany began. Now frugality is such an important part of my life and my identity: I try to be considerate of the things I want. It’s easy to want things, but my faith, my intellect, and my upbringing lead me to understand that we should not rely on material possessions for happiness.
I could just go on and on about the societal, environmental, spiritual, financial, and other reasons why it’s good to resist always wanting more. I think Mom & Dad did a great job of giving us what we needed, and more than what we needed. But, to be frank, we were not spoiled, and thank God for that.
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